If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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