everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
