Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
