Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
