I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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