Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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