just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
