That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
