help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
