Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
