i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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