i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
