ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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