I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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