Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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