is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
If I die, sorry about rent.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
