Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Randomize
