i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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