I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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