i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
