just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
It's official drugs can't kill me
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
