We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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