after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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