Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
