i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
