I molested 6 butterflies tonight
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
