dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
