Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
