I am spending my child support on dildos
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
