Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
