The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
