I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
