Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Sober January is a disaster.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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