I didn't shave. On purpose
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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