No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
