Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
