No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
