I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Is it penis luge time yet?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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