I've blown a few things in my day
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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