According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
