i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
