There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
