We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I just threw up on my dentist
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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