We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
