i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
