I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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