so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Randomize
