do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
