You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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