who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize